Most of us have some resistance to changing ourselves, even if we genuinely desire better results. If you can identify your limiting mindsets, you can change them and accelerate achieving your goals.
In working with Speech & Accent, I find these are the mindsets that if “reframed” help clients succeed:
Mindset #1: I have to be perfect.
Examples of self-talk: I did it wrong. I made a mistake. What’s the “right” way to say it?
Reframe to: I’m curious why I say it differently … what is the difference exactly? (look for patterns). I’m going to create change one step at a time. It’s ok to say it “my way” and then the “American way” and some of the patterns will stick, and I’ll achieve a noticeable improvement.
Mindset #2: I’ll never get this.
Examples of self-talk: I’ve lived here for 20 years and still can’t say it right. It’s too hard. I’ll never remember this. I’m too old to learn this.
Reframe to: If I focus on muscle movement and muscle memory, my breathing, and my patterns, I can create noticeable and lasting change.
Mindset #3: This is a difficult thing to do.
Examples of self-talk: How can I remember all of this? Can I just write it down in my first language?
Reframe to: It’s all about how it feels. I don’t have to memorize anything. I’m going to be in the moment and experience the difference. My voice sounds great! I can do this!
It’s a mistake to think it’s just about being “positive.” That’s certainly part of it, but you have to be honest with yourself and make supportive comments to yourself that support change. If you believe you can do it, you can find a way. If you are always trying to be perfect and telling yourself it’s “hard”, you will create more tension patterns that prevent you from being successful. You have to trust the process, put in the effort, and then enjoy the results!